Thursday, April 28, 2011

Hello on April 28, 2011

Hello!

Hello to all who still are tuning in.  I haven't written much lately, as you can tell.  That may have cost me a few viewers I now realize.  I haven't written because I haven't felt much like doing so.  I continue to try to settle in here at Sunny Acres.  I think that it may compare to doing something like attending college for the first time or going to boot camp!  It is such a big change coming here.  There is a lot to learn and to try to adjust to, and so, due to that process, I am pooped out!  For every answer that I come up with, I find several more.  I suppose I have not written also because I would like to address everything that I am coming up against, but there is so much that I am overwhelmed.  When I am overwhelmed, I tend to shut down.  So, rather than to shut down, I will try to write about one thing at a time. 

When Dan and I sit down and talk, we usually start talking about something practical or something that needs attention.  It never fails that it is not long before it turns into a philosophical discussion.  By "philosophical" I mean that we address what something really means- what are our opinions and beliefs regarding that thing.  It doesn't take long for us to realize that this is absolutely necessary for what we are trying to accomplish here at Sunny Acres.  I like to talk about things this way, and you probably already know that if you know me.  In my regular, old, workaday world, I recall that many, if not most, of my interactions with people did not often turn into such philosophical discussions unless they were steered that way.  Here it is not an option, here it is necessary.  Not only are we dealing with people in recovery from their own addictions, but I am dealing with my own "recovery" of sorts.  What I mean is this- the stress of this place, and the challenge it presents...pushes me up against my own shortcomings, fears, frustrations, inadequacies........just the same way that I would imagine boot camp does.  At that point we either want to flee or fight.  I choose to fight- by learning whatever it is that I have to learn and by growing however it is that I have to grow.  I confess that it is difficult- I want to flee.  Now back to the "philosophical" thing...... where do I start?  I'll pick one at random.  How about this one.  Fact or fiction?  Opinion or truth?  Belief or opinion?  What I mean is this- when we have an "idea" about something......is that idea a fact?  Is it a mistruth?  Is it an opinion?  Is it the absolute truth?  Who knows!?!  If it is ours, we tend to think it is the honest-to-goodness truth, don't we?  BUT, have we questioned it enough on our own......have we really engaged it with experience, to be able to defend what we profess to claim as the truth?  We could go on and on with this one, and round and round, huh?  I say all of this because of this one question I have.  All of the people who daily drive by Sunny Acres- do they understand this place?  Probably not.  I don't yet, and I've been here about a month!  But ask any one of them, and if they have an opinion, they will probably voice it.  We generally all do that, don't we?  But that opinion- what is it based on?  I suppose that what I am getting to is this- are our opinions (which we tend to believe are facts) based on simply what we have been taught (by whatever means) or are they based on our actual experiences that have resulted from our investing our time and efforts at getting to the truth?  So what do you think about the homeless?  What do you think about addicts?  What do you think about alcoholics?  Why?

God bless,
Thank you for tuning in again!,
Craig

Friday, April 8, 2011

Hello from Sunny Acres in SLO. Friday, April 8, 2011

Hello everyone,

I haven't written in a while.  I have been busy trying to get settled in here at Sunny Acres (SA).  This place is essentially a clean and sober living facility in a farm setting.  I am struggling to try to wrap my mind around this place and to try to figure out how I am to fit in here and just what it is that I am meant to do.  There are many, many facets to this place- any one of them on their own would be a considerable challenge. 

Last night I went and picked up my daughter Kate and we went out towards Los Osos for dinner.  Afterwards we headed up to Morro Bay and we went to The Villager motel to try to see the owner.  He is a man named Dan who I made friends with on my Walk.  I stayed there instead of in a campground after I had got caught in the rain.  We had a long and great visit together.   But yesterday evening he had already left for work in Paso Robles, so I visited with his wife and daughter for a little while.  I will go back when I have time on a weekend when he is home. 

I'd write more but I am tired.  This place and this process is draining. 

The weather and the people are great.  Talk to you later.........

God bless,
Craig